Wait

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This morning I found myself reflecting on my husband’s and my history. When I was a teenager my family attended an annual lecture series at the small college he attended. The students were responsible for a lot of logistics as part of their education, so we would have run into each other multiple times over the course of those weeks. He was 18-20, I was 14-16; we weren’t on each other’s radar and have no memory of meeting at all during that time. Ten years later, a mutual friend introduced us, and the rest is history.

There have been times I wished we had met earlier, had all that time to spend together. The truth is that if we had met as kids we probably wouldn’t be together now. Those ten years shaped the characteristics that drew us together, characteristics that we did not possess as teenagers. We both went through things: failed relationships, first jobs, successes and failures, and other challenges that helped us discover independently who we were. By the time we found each other’s orbit we both understood what we were looking for and how to recognize it.

It is a lesson I have worked very hard to take to heart. So often we try to rush life, demanding whatever we want in the moment as if the course of our lives depends upon it. We push harder and harder, younger and younger, and look back on our lives with regret and bitterness that our rushed decisions didn’t produce the fruit we wanted. My life would look very different now without those ten years. I would likely have ended up marrying one of those failed relationships I mentioned and it would still have failed, or chasing one of those challenges in a fruitless search for fulfillment. Even if a second opportunity to meet had arisen I would likely have rejected it based on first impressions, never realizing the change time could produce.

There is a right time for the right things to happen in our lives. We have to learn to appreciate the wait. Waiting is not wasted time; it’s growing time. What do you choose to learn from your experiences? What changes are you willing to make after your failures? What do you learn about yourself from relationship challenges, and what characteristics do you learn to pursue? No one knows what they really want until they have experienced all of those aspects of life. Celebrate the wait.

To Whom Do We Answer?

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A pagan king with a bloated ego set an ultimatum. Pay homage with deep obeisance to his self-monument or burn alive. Three teenage boys stood their ground in a sea of groveling sycophants. They told a rage-maddened king that they didn’t answer to him, knowing full well the mortal consequences of doing so. The petty selfishness of a human ruler had no power to bring them to their knees because they served the King of kings. That King could have brought their enemy to his knees, destroyed him and set the boys up as kings in his place. He could have rained down His own fire on the misguided people who submitted to the despot. Instead, He merely stood in the fire with three teenagers, a shield that made rage impotent.

The great council of elders, appointed by Rome to judge matters considered beneath the empire’s notice and beholden to empirical favor for any authority they wielded, held its own people in a dictatorial vice. Independent thought threatened council members’ precarious position and status; developments not specifically approved by them exposed the lie in their carefully crafted image of themselves as the hands of God. When two fishermen gave sight to a blind man under their very noses at the gate of the temple and declared the council’s guilt of murdering God rather than serving Him, the council used its most drastic measures in retaliation. No longer allowed power over life and death, the members imprisoned the outspoken fishermen and sought to intimidate them with threats and posturing. The fishermen stood their ground in a sea of desperate faces, knowing that the consequences might well involve long-term imprisonment or even being handed over to deadly Roman discipline on false charges, calmly informing the power-crazed council that they did not answer to it. The conviction of the fishermen and their impossible healing paralyzed the council, exposing its true focus and stripping from it the fear it had cultivated in the people it ruled. The fishermen were released and their message flooded the city with hope and courage.

An egotistical man imposed his will on a group of faithful men and women. Unwilling to bend his will to any authority, he twisted the words of God and maligned any who challenged him. He isolated the group from outside influence, refusing to offer welcome to faithful visitors and ostracising any who defied his refusal. The same fisherman that faced the great council wrote to a faithful member of that beleaguered group, setting the example of conviction and encouraging the faithful to remember that they did not answer to any arrogant man. Their joint refusal to comply would sterilize his threats and free them to do the work of God.

Evil has many tricks to confuse our attention, to trick us into answering to the wrong demands. Not only does it launch open attacks from the outside, it creeps in through the chinks to sow doubt and confusion. A misguided sense of respect for human prestige, fear of temporary consequences, and overprioritization of human desires all result in forgetting the Authority above all authorities. Of what are we truly convicted? To whom do we truly answer?

Bride and Groom

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“We are gathered here tonight in the sight of the moon and the trees to join together Nob and Hob in trolly matrimony. Have you both come here freely and without reservation to give yourselves to each other in marriage?”

“Yes, your stoniness!” “Where else would I be but with my Nobikins?” “I told you, don’t call me that in public!” “Oh, but it’s our wedding, Nobikins!”

“Harumph! Back to the matter at hand… Love is patient, love is kind. It stores up wrongs done to the other to wait for an opportune time for revenge. It reserves the best haunch at the cookfire for the other. It boasts of its deeds of maraudery to prove its constant provision for the other. It never trusts, and never leaves a window open to the dawn.”

“My little Hobby, oh the raids I’ve made to make our conjugal…” “NOB! Not in front of the family! What about the trollikins?!” “They know we’re getting married, for stone’s sake!”

“If we could… Nob, do you take this troll to be your wife? Do you promise to steal for her, tell her she’s ugly, and shelter her from the light all the nights of your life?” “Oh, your stoniness, my word on it!”

“Hob, do you take this troll to be your husband? Do you promise to never season his cookpot, to always muddy his loincloth, and to keep the cave dark for him all the nights of your life?” “Of course I do, my Nobikins! Oh, this is so romantic! Oh dear, I’m going to spoil my mudbath now!”

“If you’ll excuse me, your mudbath will last a moment longer. Trolls and trollikins, I now present to you husband and wife! Nob, you may kiss the bride.” “Now, my Nobikins, don’t tear the veil!”

We’ve Come So Far?

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2000 years ago, the Romans possessed the skill to build aqueducts using stone blocks shaped by hand and stacked without mortar into columns and arches over thirty feet high, with more layers of arches on top. They laid roads of stone that spanned an empire stretching from India to Great Britain to Africa. Both were feats of engineering that still stand largely untouched and usable today, baffling and challenging modern architects. Yet humanity has come so far?

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Five thousand years ago, the Egyptians built massive pyramidal monuments to their dead kings. Using methods we can only guess at, they carved and hauled multiton blocks of stone up an incline and set them together so closely that a sheet of paper can’t fit between them. The pyramids still stand as marvels of engineering, marked but far from disintegrated by time. Yet humanity has come so far?

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Three thousand years ago, the Mayan people built stepped temples of stone that rose high above the rainforest canopy to celebrate the sun. They carved complex astronomical calenders into solid rock to order their lives. The people are long gone, along with all record of their lives except for those untouched temples and carvings. The stone still rises above the trees, perfect feats of architecture preserved from a hidden past. Yet humanity has come so far?

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Roughly three or four thousand years ago, an ancient semitic nation carved their lives inch by inch out of the desert mountains. Slowly their rough cave settlements grew into vast cities, polished red sandstone walls gleaming and ornate gateways towering over grand entrances. The people with the dream to create these monumental dwellings had no fear of the desert; they also possessed the knowledge and technology to pipe water into the city through sophisticated systems from nearby springs and rainwater cisterns. This indomitable people faded into history, replaced by interlopers and usurpers, but their mountain cities still stand to awe modern travellers. Yet humanity has come so far?

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Two thousand years ago, a tribal people in the Peruvian desert left their unique mark upon the face of the earth itself. With precise geometric knowledge and application, the Nazca etched stylized drawings of native animals into the rocky desert floor, along with a complex system of perfectly straight lines that stretched for miles. The drawings are so large they cannot be viewed in entirety from the desert floor; they must be viewed from the distant mountain peaks or from the air. No one now knows why the Nazca created their mathematically precise art, but despite millenia it is still visible and wondered at by modern civilization. Yet humanity has come so far?

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Some thousands of years ago, knowledge was handed down through song. Children were apprenticed early to scholars, who painstakingly tutored them until they could recite every word and intonation perfectly. Religion, history, and science were all passed from generation to generation in complex rhymes and rhythms; tales of heros like Beowulf and Gilgamesh shared memory with medical instruction. Not a word was lost and much knowledge was added over centuries of time, without a word being written down. Yet humanity has come so far?

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A little less than a thousand years ago, every book was created by hand. Tools were handmade and carefully customized by the artist, who then mixed his own pigments and meticulously painted every letter and line of every page. A single page represented days of work and incredible artistry, with intricate scripts enhanced by brilliantly detailed images and scrollwork. Yet humanity has come so far?

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Summer Flash Sale 2022

I do believe dragon breath is scorching my area. The heat is driving everyone inside, so time for some new reading material. Magic, dragons, prophecy, and myth drive Seline toward a destiny she never imagined.

Available in ebook at most major retailers through the following link – Https://books2read.com/u/baDgr6

On sale in paperback form exclusively through Amazon at the following link – https://www.amazon.com/Chosen-Heather-N-Russell/dp/B09BF7W792/

The Castle

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“Hurry! We’re gonna get caught in it!” Jenny shrieked, stumbling over the rocks on her way down the hill.

“Don’t be a wimp!” Jake grumbled behind her, hopping from stone to stone instead. “It’s just water! Why are you such a GIRL?”

“I AM a girl, stupid!” Jenny stuck her tongue out, then pulled up short at the path, staring straight ahead with her mouth open.

“Woah, where’d that come from?” Jake hopped from the last stone into the dirt. A loud pattering of drops slapped the top of the hill, accompanied by a gust of wind and a clap of thunder. “Come on, let’s go inside.”

“It’s creepy!” Jenny hung back, glancing from the shell of castle that had apparently sprung out of the moors to the sheets of rain darkening the clouds behind them.

“Oh, for Pete’s sake!” Jake grabbed his sister’s arm and yanked her into the shelter of the stone tower at the corner of the castle. Despite the high, circular windows, the tower was dark, and the children shivered in the still air.

“Jake,” the girl whimpered. “I don’t like it here! I wanna go home!”

“Shh! Did you hear that?” Jake clapped a hand over her mouth and peered wildly into the darkness. The children huddled together, even Jake beginning to admit to himself that he was frightened.

Lightning flashed, and something far above split with a resounding boom that drowned the thunder. The walls of the tower shimmered and crackled with energy, their dim light reflecting from something tall and metallic in the center of the room.

As the light went out, Jake caught his breath. “Jenny,” he whispered, his voice quivering. “Did you see it move?”

A clank echoed against the stone, and Jenny screamed.

Not Helping

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“Aren’t you on medication? I thought it was helping. Why do you feel so bad?”

If you have a chronic illness, you’ve probably heard some variation of this ad nauseum. We live in a culture that expects some version of Star Trek medicine, where every problem can be fixed, every ailment can be cured, with the pass of an instrument or the click of a button. Or the swallowing of a pill. When reality doesn’t live up to expectations, confusion and suspicion of the sufferers reigns.

Now, obviously, some of those who say such things have the best of intentions. They genuinely care that another person is hurting and they want the hurt to stop. Then there are those whose voice is just a little too sharp, whose smile is just a little too forced, whose eyebrows rise a little too high. They don’t understand why help us not helping according to their expectations.

The problem is the expectation, not the help. Humans don’t exist in cookie cutter shapes, and our lives are as unique as we are. There is no pill, no therapy, no trekkie fix that can make every person fit the same mold. When wiring goes wrong, when internal connections “leak” or don’t match, there is no quick fix. There may be no fix at all. What help exists may simply make symptoms easier to endure.

Until it doesn’t. A hot day, a disagreement, a small pain, a touch, a deadline. Maybe today the brain can’t communicate with the hands. Maybe every sensation is magnified. Maybe sensations are so muted that the brain doesn’t have the tools to make decisions. Without outside help, those things can result in brutal public meltdowns or complete functional paralysis. With help, those days may allow getting out of bed, being able to muster a smile, have a conversation. They may allow the ability to say, “I can’t fulfill obligations today because I feel horrible.”

When society forces a cookie cutter ideal on sufferers of invisible illnesses, a new illness grows. It’s called self-doubt. “Maybe there’s nothing really wrong with me. Maybe I’m just selfish. Maybe I’m making it up. Maybe I should stop using my help. Maybe I’m just stupid and worthless.” Charybdis yaws, drowning talents and hope and purpose in the depths of misery.

“Aren’t you on medication? I thought it was helping. Why do you feel so bad?”

Enough

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The apostle Paul wrote to Timothy about the contrast between those who pursue earthly wealth vs those who are content. His words have been used to justify hatred for those with wealth as well as to excuse laziness and irresponsibility. The popular maxim that money is the root of evil is twisted from this conversation. But what was the real message Paul wanted the young man to understand?

The word “content” or “contentment” literally means “enough.” Paul said that reverence (godliness) with enough was provision for our lives. We have provided nothing for ourselves and are nothing within ourselves alone. Timothy lived and taught in a city famed for its wealth; the focus of its citizens was to maintain and grow that wealth by any means necessary. Idolatry and vice was big business for the Ephesians, and conversion to faith in Christ meant not only a loss of wealth but a loss of livelihood for many. It would have been difficult come to terms with for people whose entire lives were wrapped in opulence.

Paul wanted Timothy to help the Ephesians understand who truly provided for them and why. He told them that those whose lives revolved around getting money, who saw that as their purpose, lived in a prison of dissatisfaction. Because their purpose was getting more for themselves, they could never have or be enough. Life would be miserable, wasted chasing what could never be obtained.

Timothy was to remind the Ephesians that God Himself provided whatever they needed. If they possessed monetary wealth, God had provided it. If the most basic of needs were met, God had provided it. Every person’s job was the same: share what they had, work at things that embodied good (God), and to set their hearts toward attitudes that reflected the heart of God. If they did that, if their faith settled on the power greater than themselves, if their purpose was to serve rather than to gain, then it would matter to them whether they were rich or poor.

God’s purpose for man has never been to pursue personal gain, monetary or otherwise. His purpose for humanity is to love Him, be like Him as our children are like us, share Him with those who don’t know Him. For some, that will involve rubbing shoulders with the rich and powerful of this world. If wealth, respect, or fame are required to accomplish that purpose, God will provide. Others are called to reach the poverty-stricken, pain-drenched, forgotten masses. For them, money and power may mean far less than the ability to empathize. Paul told Timothy that whatever God chose to provide would be enough to fulfill His purpose. Even if all that He chose to provide was food and clothing, the person who received those blessings would be enough, not for themselves, but for God.

Grimdark

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He stood at the base of the bridge, his hands twisting behind him. Don’t show fear, they had warned. You don’t want to attract the grimdark, they had said. He kept his face carefully blank (he hoped), but his hands fidgeted. He wondered if the grimdark could hear his heart pounding.

The orange light of the forest began to coalesce at the apex of the bridge while shadows advanced. He tried to make himself stand straighter, focusing on the light in front of him. He took a single step forward, his boot scuffing against the wood planks. The light pulsed and shimmered, and he paused, swallowing hard.

Low notes whispered to him, and he looked around wildly before realizing they came from inside his head. They swelled in volume, a deep bass thrumming against the inside of his skull. This wasn’t right! He clutched his temples, salt drops leaking from his eyes, and stared with growing horror at the light. Burnt orange flames reached for him as the pounding notes churned his brain. He screamed, and the light went out.

Glorious

The Lord came from Sinai and appeared to them at Seir; he shone on them from Mt. Paran and came with ten thousand holy ones, with lightning from his right hand for them. Deut. 33:2

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The shape of a throne with the appearance of a sapphire stone was above the expanse. There was a form with the appearance of a human on the throne high above. From what seemed to be his waist up, I saw a gleam like amber, with what looked like fire enclosing it all around. from what seemed to be his waist down, I also saw what looked like fire. There was a brilliant light all around him. The appearance of the brilliant light all around was like that of a rainbow in a cloud on a rainy day. This was the appearance of the form of the Lord’s glory. Ezekiel 1:26-28

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When I turned I saw seven golden lampstands, and among the lampstands was one like the Son of Man, dressed in a robe and with a golden sash wrapped around his chest. The hair of his head was white as wool – white as snow – and his eyes like a fiery flame. His feet were like fine bronze as it is fired in a furnace, and his voice like the sound of cascading waters. He had seven stars in his right hand; a sharp, double-edged sword came from his mouth, and his face was shining like the sun at full strength. Rev. 1:12-16

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Or do you think that I cannot call on my father, and he will provide me here and now with more than twelve legions of angels? Matt. 26:53

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Passage after passage describes God with the most beautiful, awe-inspiring images the human mind can conjure. He is easy to think about as an infant in a cradle, as a man traveling with his followers, even as a broken body drooping from a wooden cross. We can relate to those images, and they don’t cause us much disturbance. Though they serve an important purpose in our connection with God, they don’t do much to shock us out of our comfort zones.

The images used to describe God’s power are designed to do exactly that. Can you imagine cowering beneath a sky blotted out by a figure of light on a faceted throne surrounded by an army of angels ready for war? It’s almost beyond the capacity of our human minds to comprehend. Yet this incomprehensible majesty is ever present, just beyond our physical sight. And that majesty doesn’t war against us, but on our behalf. More than that, if we choose we can become a part of it, one of those gathered at the foot of the throne, partaking of the river that flows from it.

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Then he showed me the river of the water of life, clear as crystal, flowing from the throne of God and of the Lamb down the middle of the city’s main street. The tree of life was on each side of the river, bearing twelve kinds of fruit, producing its fruit every month. The leaves of the tree are for the healing of the nations, and there will no longer be any curse. The throne of God and of the Lamb will be in the city, and his servants will worship Him. They will see His face, and His name will be on their foreheads. Night will be no more; people will not need the light of a lamp or the light of the sun, because the Lord God will give them light, and they will reign forever and ever. Rev. 22:1-5

God is glorious. God’s realm is glorious. God’s army is glorious. And whether our eyes can see it or not, we are glorious in His hands. But only if we choose.